For the Love of Christmas
Stuff to Celebrate!
For those days when you don’t seem to have anything to look forward to.
Corny Christmas Joke
Fab Find
A product without a name
See car gel in its natural habitat.
Much like the aforementioned leaf scoops, I have yet to purchase car gel. But it’s in my ever-burgeoning Amazon cart. It’s been recommended by a looooong list of reliable sources, including Buzzfeed, which we all know is THE definitive source for journalistic truth and integrity. (And quizzes; an’t forget those.)
How does this stuff NOT have a name?!? If you click on the link above, you get a string of keywords that will blow your mind:
“【2022 Upgraded】Cleaning Gel for Car, Car Cleaning Kit Universal Detailing Automotive Dust Car Crevice Cleaner Auto Air Vent Interior Detail Removal Putty Cleaning Keyboard Cleaner for Car Vents, PC”
🤯
But how hard would it have been to just call it “Car Gel,” or “Amazing Car Gel,” or “Essential Car Gel"?
I’m kinda starting to feel sorry for this no-name product.
Which would make a great stocking stuffer!
Mix-Tape Must-Have
My 2023 Christmas Song Obsession
Because I have an affinity for weird music year round, it makes sense that I also have an affinity for weird Christmas music, right?
This is my new fave Christmas song. It’s not weird as much as it is unusual. I have had it playing on a loop for several days now.
Much to my husband’s chagrin.
Christmas Palette
Anyone else ever try to make a legit gingerbread house?
Not with graham crackers.
Not one that comes out of the box fully constructed. Just add frosting and candy. (And how on EARTH is that joint compound edible??!)
If you’ve never attempted it, I can assure you that it’s difficult. Never have I ever made a gingerbread house that has the following gingerbready characteristics simultaneously:
Made from gingerbread
Edible
Remotely pleasant to look at
Stock photos indicate that it can - indeed - be done. If YOU have mastered the art of the tasty, pretty gingerbread house, please share some tips.
My pro tip for gingerbread houses is buy fake ones.
Presenting the $83.84 (on sale!) Kurt Adler gingerbread house with LED lights!
Is $83.84 expensive? Yep. But not as expensive as its original price: $180.13.
But does it suck up 4 hours of your life (not including bake time) that you will never get back? Nope.
Does it leave a mess everywhere? Nope
Is it edible? Nope. But I want to meet someone who’s actually eaten a gingerbread house and didn’t regret it.
That makes this improbably lovely, $83.84 gingerbread house priceless.
True Christmas Story
Rude Santa
Step aside, Charles Dickens!
I’ve got a true Christmas story that’s MUCH easier to read than “A Christmas Carol.” And shorter.
Alas, there’s no Tiny Tim. Or ghosts. Just a rude Santa.
Once upon a time in Gridley, Kansas a little girl (I think you know who she is….) received the best Christmas present EVER: a Barbie Beauty Center (see photo above). And it was all the things:
✓ A disembodied head
✓ Super cheap pseudo-makeup that would not wash out of clothing
✓ Hair that curled magically, its plastic blonde strands interwoven with wire
✓ Pink everything
✓ Innumerable little pieces parts
Apparently, Santa had no faith that this little girl had the requisite level of maturity to handle such a glorious floating head with wire hair, so he included a note of warning (written on a piece of her father’s coaching staff memo pad paper), “If you don’t take care of this Barbie head, I will take it back,” or something to that effect. Rude.
First of all, how dare Santa imply that the girl was irresponsible! If he were so concerned, why give it to her at all?! And does Santa go around all night threatening little kids?! He’d probably get done with his gifting tour of the globe if he didn’t waste time writing notes to sketchy, undeserving children.
And second: WTH with rummaging through our house looking for note paper? Did he not bring his own? What else had Santa seen in our drawers?
In the end, the little girl took very good care of her floating Barbie head, never once doubting that Santa himself had written that note.
